whip me, baby. whip me good...

"freely given" by William Russell Walker

I feel a disconnect. My mind and body are at odds. I'm OK. Emotionally, I'm OK. But my body is far away.

I can't seem to connect to it — don't want to. My body has betrayed me. Fuck the fucker. Fuck it. My body has betrayed me.

And that's that.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not holding a grudge or anything. I'm not sitting around dwelling on the baggage, tormenting myself, self-flagellating. I've simply ceased to care.

You have betrayed me. Fine. I understand things better now. I now know more.

And meanwhile, I've ceased to care.

Eventually, I suppose, I'll simply cease to care... altogether... about anything.

And then, I suppose... I'll die.


(if only it were that easy. it sounds so peacefully, really.)