Sunday, December 17, 2006
I need some time alone
I like to spend time alone. I used to need it a lot more than now.
But why is it that lover's always bring up the whole "time alone" thing at the most inoppertune moments?
As soon as they have a bad day — no matter why or what the cause... "I need to spend some time alone."
Gotcha.
When your lover is unhappy, it's disconcerting. No matter how confident you are about the relationship, it's disconcerting. People make big changes when they're unhappy. People misdirect their unhappiness? People get confused about what's making them unhappy.
Is that selfish? Is it selfish to think about yourself when your lover is unhappy? Is it only natural?
It's not that you're not genuinely concerned about their happiness. But it's a passing thought.
Am I the cause?
Am I somehow the cause?
Is this somehow related to me?
Will this hurt me, us?
"I need some time alone."
Not a great time to hear it, is it? Not a great time to say it. Thanks a lot, my love.
But we're not allowed to complain. No. No. Of course not. That would be selfish.
So... we swallow it. We keep it in. We hurt silently until it passes. And then we nurse the sore.
"What do you do when you need time alone?"
Sometimes I just keep needing it. Sometimes I find it in my head.
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7 comments:
In general, I feel like I get my time alone during the small things. My morning routine, commute to work, grocery shopping. I rarely, if ever, ask for "alone time" when I'm in a relationship. So if I ever get that request, I can't help but question me, us, and what's going to happen. I think it is only natural.
I always need time alone. Always! And that doesn't help me keep any relationship for long. I often end up feeling not being able to breath... like been alone for a day or two. But I can't keep asking that to the other person... :(
I have 2 children, a husband, very nice neighbors, a large family and close friends.I spent the beginning of my life giving them all what I thought they needed and now I am so ready to do for myself and just be alone. I feel like there is a whip at my back, someone always needing something, and I just want to get to the end of the list of needs so I can take care of a few of my own.
I am a married man /w 4 children. I get no real alone time unless I leave the home -- and that is not alone time because then I am running which I abhore. I work from home when not on the road, when on the road, I work for clients and talk with my wife every night for hours (which I love -- both the wife and the talks) but I need alone time. I really should move my office into a bedroom instead of sharing one with my wife but I don't want to hurt her feelings... and frankly we don't have a 6th bedroom to spare.
My man needs time alone he didn't tell me about it, just left the note on the kitchen table, for me not to worry, about temporary absence, he has to think etc.
Well woman have to swallow it. Doesn't matter what we feel and need, man just come and go whenever they want. You can't keep them even if you love them. You just have to adjust if you don't want to change anything. You can always say "I don't agree" but does it change anything?
im 28 mother of 3...ages 11,9 and 8...i have a loving husband but he is so irresposible sad to say but he is..so tired of waiting for him to get a job but i dont know what his problem...i cant help it but sometimes i feel so tired...and worrying bout my children's future...
Once in a while, to be quiet.
Once in a while, to be me.
Once in a while, to smile.
Once in a while, just for me.
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