Did you know that George W signed a new Federal Regulation — called the Child Nutrition and WIC Reauthorization Act — that stipulates that no goods baked at home will be allowed for any school events? All foods must be prepackaged or cooked in a "licensed kitchen," meaning a restaurant, grocery store, or bakery.

So, basically, it's ok to buy some crap-ass Ho-Hos, Twinkies, and Ding-Dongs, or some nasty stale pastries from the SuperAmerica bakery (which, by the way, everyone has already sweetly carressed), or even Dunkin Donuts. But God forbid you bake your own cupcakes for the school bake sale, or Janey's birthday treat.

Makes sense to me. I mean, pre-packaged foods are so healthy! And I'm sure the obesity problem in this country is the direct result of home cooking. And what better way to teach our children the value of purchasing things we can make for ourselves? And we can spare our little tikes from the kitchen, and from those god-awful fractions used in baking. Yeah, nice going, USA.