While I haven't exactly been getting propositioned daily, I have determined that it is indeed time to take a vow of celibacy. Ok. Maybe not a vow. Now a vow at all. Just a quiet agreement with myself. Just a silent acknowledgement. I am not ready. I am most certainly not ready.

I had a panic attack on my first date back in the field. I had a fucking panic attack! What kind of pathetic shit is that? Clearly, I am not ready. And as pathetic as I might find this, I have no other option than to accept it. What am I to do? Force the issue? Yes, perhaps I can arrange it so that I do actually end up needing those irresponsibly prescribed anti-anxiety meds. How sad is that?

I will no longer endure the embarrassment. I must focus on me. I must not toss strange men from my apartment. (Of course, that's a whole other story altogether.) I must not have strange men anywhere near my bed — not even in the vicinity. I must... to bed... alone.

True. Like I said, I haven't exactly been drowning in propositions, but... alas... a girl can always get laid. Really. It's true. A girl can always get laid.

I'm locking up the merchandise and throwing away the key, people. Maria, I know you'll be disappointed, but what am I to do? Your little quest for suitors simply didn't bear results.

So.. I guess I'll join Amber for a while.. on her little man ban (and big men, too). Hell, maybe there is indeed strength in numbers. And if not, maybe we can at least satisfy ourselves with a bit of cock-teasing for a while. I have to say, I've never been much of a cock tease. I've always been much to directed for that. I like to stay on message, get to the point, see things through, so to speak. Free delivery, baby. But our delivery service has been called to a halt. Hell, we don't even have take out now. Restaurant closed for restoration. Closed until further notice.

[[Ok. I have to be honest. I'm not throwing away the key. I'm just hiding it for a while. If you're really interested, it'll be in my left shoe. I'm not encouraging anything here.. just wanted you to know.]]